It was a great project to portrait and photograph 4 veterans for the current issue of the Zeit in NRW and Berlin. Not only are they amazing and wonderful people, but also the scale and scope of the project. It reminded me a bit of my time in the german army and I was very motivated, to do the subjects justice. Zeit had the idea to photograph analog. So we came up with a plan to not only use medium format 6x7 but also 4x5” large format. A great move for a serious subject. For me, it gives even more value and seriousness to the entire story. So besides my digital camera, I brought my beloved Mamiya 7 and my Chamonix 45n-2.
Stephan Kremer in his Garden in Lüdenscheid. He served for 4 years in the German Army.
The first subject was Stephan Kremer. I met him and his little son at his house in Lüdenscheid. After talking a bunch about the German Army and his time in Afghanistan I started to make test pictures on the couch. I wasn’t sure about the brightness of the light coming through the window, so I needed a new plan. The light and scenery in the garden were great so I decided to move it outside. Eventually, I found my framing with the great black fence in the background. Which for me, has great representations of his struggle with PTSD; he talks very open about. His strong believe is, that it has to be more commonly known throughout society and he doesn’t hold back and is not afraid of the German Army, who sometimes may not like his “openness”.
The chest Tattoo says “Leben Lieben Loslassen” – “Life Love Let go”. He says it stands for his PTSD.
A Selfie Of Stephan he send me on WhatsApp. I love it ;)
On the next day, I met Andreas in Bonn, a chairman of the “Bund Deutscher EinsatzVeteranen”, an association with over 1200 members that support each other. I loved the bookshelf in his living room and how his armchair was situated. We started some portraits here and I knew it was the perfect conditions for a great Mamiya photograph, as the light was coming in nice and soft. It additionally softened through the garden glass roof. Afterward, we moved it outside into the garden as well. It would be nice to have a recurring thread of some green or nature. I really wanted to show him being a veteran, experience wise and in a sense that he was responsible for quite a lot of people. In total he had seven tours to Afghanistan. He said after the news came out, he already researched a land route to go to Kabul himself.
“Andreas Engert sagt, er wolle gar nicht zur Ruhe kommen. Er engagiert sich für Veteranen.”
In the evening I took a train to Berlin, where I arrived late at night. The next day I was scheduled to meet Dunja Neukam, who served in Afghanistan as a nurse and psychology sergeant (Psychologiefeldwebel). I had to find a location through google maps, as Dunja didn’t live in Berlin either. I tried to find something in her vicinity that would give me some green, as in a Park, and some urban greys of Berlin. The meeting was in the morning so I was expecting great light, which absolutely came through. She is also very involved with the “Bund Deutscher EinsatzVeteranen” and cares a lot about her fellow soldiers. She always has an open ear.
“Dunja Neukam, Krankenschwester und Psychologiefeldwebel, bekommt viele Anrufe von Kameraden, die nicht schlafen können.”
The opening of the Story inside of the Zeit Magazin N°38. Es ist nicht vorbei – It is not over.
The morning light was coming through the trees just wonderful and the overgrown fence of a sport court was just right. This is my favourite photograph from the entire series. For me it has a deeper meaning with the overgrown fence and the accurate but broken down trash container in the back. Just barely hiding. As before I started out with some digital photographs to get a feeling and to find an interesting composition and light situation. Then I moved to the Mamiya and finally to the 4x5” wich needs some extra attention. During the session I was always thinking about which situation would be the best for a 4x5” frame, as it takes such a long time to setup.
View of the ground glass und my T-Shirt. This Image is flipped horizontally. Usually one has to frame with an image that is horizontally and vertically flipped. With that all movements of the camera are “inverted”. Thats the true beauty of 4x5.
In the afternoon I met Michael von Frankenberg. I had to take a Berlin S-Train all the way to the last stop. It was a beautiful ride and I was sure I would find some great nature. I researched the vicinity again on Google Maps to find a suitable location nearby. I wandered around before out meeting to finalise some background ideas as Michael was having his Interview. For me personally that was great, as with every minute passing by the afternoon sun was getting better and better. One can definitely tell through the session that the light changes quite a lot. Of course some of the last photographs that day are my favourites.
“Michael von Frankenberg will einem ehemaligen Dolmetscher helfen, bald doch noch aus dem Land zu kommen.”
So we wandered around this abandoned area, as I was trying to find suitable backgrounds and light that I liked. Michael was very patient in me changing my mind every two seconds and stood in for every 4x5” idea I had. He even said that the little Birch patch (Birken) was very usual for the higher regions in Afghanistan and he found it quite fitting. He was mentioning the beautiful landscape down there more than once, as well as the wonderful people that helped him and his unit.
After this intense day I packed up all the anlog films & sheets to be brought to a lab downtown, so they can be processed and preview scanned as soon as possible. The deadline was already in the beginning of the upcoming week, so time was not really on hand. Here is where the sad story begins. Unfortunately none of the large format sheets came out well. Something was up with the frames and they showed little to no detail on the negative, which was incredibly frustrating. To hear that on the phone, while on a train back to Cologne is like a punch in the gut. All that work for nothing? Well, the 6x7 rolls came out perfectly and I attach a couple of preview scans at the bottom. The Mamiya is just a never failing workhorse (only if you keep the lens cap on). Overall it was a great learning experience. It’s quite a lot to photograph with three cameras at the same time but it helped to preserve some of the images. I really love and respect the fact that the photo desk still pushed to only use the 6x7 film photographs, and didn’t even want to mix with the digital portraits. For me, there is just a distance that does not look good with the Mamiya - everything really up close – and I would have been fine with replacing some with digital back up photos. The mood though, comes across perfectly in the film frames and ultimately I am very happy Zeit Magazin went this way of staying analog. It just has a different feel – if you know, you know!
The 4x5” frames have their complete own feeling and sense. I really like the mood as well and I really want to explore it a little further. This could lead to a whole new project :)
